Guys get bombarded with all sorts of requests on a daily but the fact that we comply doesn’t mean we are okay with it. There are requests that are just unnecessary and I’m gonna name the common ones.
1. Nibuyie credo.
Aiiii…. Si you just buy for yourself. As men, we also have important things to do with our airtime. We don’t wanna buy you credo so that you can buy bundles and chat with other dudes on Whatsapp. No thanks.
2. Come unipick.
Can’t Kenyan girls just leave this privilege of ‘being picked’ to nursery school kids? You won’t die if you just find your way to a guy’s place…or wherever he is.
3. Nitumie fare.
A good number of women set this as a condition before coming over. You have to send them fare first. We don’t like it. If we are going to give you fare, we prefer that you come first then we will give you fare ya kurudi. Sawa?
4. Nikopeshe doh nitarudisha.
This is tricky because asking a girl for your money is the hardest thing to do. Once you lend a girl money, the relationship between the two of you always ends up deteriorating. Whenever you ask her, she feels like you are harassing her or you are just not generous enough to let it slide.
5. Nipeleke kwa…(…….).
Some ladies treat men like they are their bodyguards. They want to be pelekwad everywhere. It’s like they fear someone will snatch their weaves if they walk alone.
6. Nisaidie pesa ya salon.
I love the popular lyrics by Bobby Mapesa in the song Mtoto Mzuri – “Hapana itisha mimi thao ya salon. Shika mbao (20 bob), nyoa kichwa safi kama baloon.” I’ll leave it there.
7. Si tukue tu mabeshte? Sio lazima tudate.